We'll Always Have Hope
by LockedSoulsAM
Summary: "Are you saying I seduced you? "Regina frowned. "If I remember correctly, it was you that pinned me against the bed. It was you who kissed me. It was also you that pulled my panties down using your-" Emma had messed up. She had messed up badly. There was no way she could choose between her best friend that she had been in love with for years and her husband who she just kind of tol
1. Chapter 1

**A/n: This story originally uploaded on AO3 as a submission for the 2018 SQ Supernova.**

There were so many tests, so many boxes; too many different options and brands stacked on shelves, just waiting for someone to purchase one. Slogans on top of slogans branded in bold letters.

Signs of "Over 99% Accurate." and "Find out you're pregnant in minutes" taunted her from every box. This aisle could be intimidating even without the irony of having condoms and feminine hygiene items just on the opposite shelf Emma snorted to herself.

She blinked back a few tears to scan each box, not knowing how in the world she'd gotten to this point in her life. She should be happy about this very moment, but instead, she felt miserable, but if there was one thing Emma Swan did not do in public, it was cry. Flipping her hair behind her shoulders, Emma looked unsure as her eyes scanned over a box before grabbing three and slipping them into her basket. The last time she'd done this, she was behind the bars of a jail cell and she felt those similar insecurities sneak into her as she walked along the aisle.

Life was vastly different for her now that it was back then; The circumstances were different. She was older, she had a job, and a husband-everything she didn't have when she was pregnant with Henry. That didn't explain the heartache she felt. She clasped her hands together over the handle of the basket, her nerves already wracked from her frantic thoughts the night before. She hadn't thought about having children with Hook since they were first married. Times had changed, they had changed, and yet here she was. The nagging feeling in the back of her mind left her unsure of the impossible.

She thought back to Henry's graduation trip, the night where she and Regina shared something more than just a room. Coming back to her senses hadn't been easy after that. They'd been avoiding each other since that trip and probably would for a while after. Emma was a married woman for goodness' sake. The reality of her actions was hitting her full force as she reached the counter to buy her tests.

She thought about how hurt Regina would be if she found out Emma was carrying Hook's baby. The friendship they'd built would be broken beyond return. Sure, sleeping together had brought heavy emotions and awkward exchanges but this was different. Emma shook her head as she tried to understand why she was more afraid of Regina's reaction than her husband's. Emma frowned intently as she stepped up to the counter of the local pharmacy. Doc gave her a questioning glance but with one glare from her, he didn't say a word. The warning was clear and her purchase would be confidential. Emma took her bag of pregnancy tests and slipped them into her oversized purse. Rarely did she ever use a purse but today the circumstances were different.

Storybrooke's favorite pastime was gossip and she didn't need Regina nor Hook finding out from some nosy citizen. She had to tell them on her own time, if she was pregnant, that is. With a final sigh, Emma decided to go home first. She was due at the station in a couple hours and she figured she had enough time to figure a few things out. Emma shuddered at the thought of her actions. Though there hadn't been any new threats here in Storybrooke, she dreaded to think of the damage she'd been doing. Drinking, her unhealthy diet, climbing trees, and chasing bad guys- all things a pregnant woman wasn't supposed to be doing.

If there was something Emma was sure of in her life, it was her period coming around the same time every month. The words weighed heavily in the back of her head as she thought of all the signs. Her constant nausea, new appetite, tender breasts and a sudden urge to cry at every single sad puppy commercial that comes on television. Those could be excused as symptoms of PMS but as Emma calculated she had missed two periods so far.

A lot of things didn't make sense right now but one thing was for sure; she needed to find out. She needed to know if she was with child.

As she pulled into her garage, Emma thanked the higher powers that no one was home. Henry was away in another realm and she missed him dearly. They hadn't talked much due to communication problems with him being in another realm and all but she continued to miss him. Usually, she would be with Regina right now, she would be taking comfort in reminiscing with Regina about Henry's childhood.

They would laugh at Regina's stories about how mischievous Henry was over his terrible two's. It's what they did. Her fake memories from the second curse offered her a lot of comfort during times when she really missed him. His first steps were fuzzy in her mind but she held onto it just as dearly.

Now here she was possibly pregnant with another baby. Emma denied that it could still be a thing as she stepped into her home. She kicked off her boots and quickly walked into the bathroom on the first floor. Dropping the bag unceremoniously onto the floor, she quickly unbuttoned her jeans and slid them down to her ankles. She used her toe to pull the bag close to her to pull each stick out of its box.

Her eyes scanned the instructions before she shoved each test between her legs. The butterflies in her stomach felt no different from when she was 18, willing yourself to pee on command would always be awkward. It felt like an eternity before she was done and sitting with the tests on paper towel. The timer on her phone counted back the longest five minutes of her life. Two pink lines meant pregnant and one meant not pregnant. It would be easy enough, right?

A little part of Emma wanted a baby, yearned for one of her own that she would get to feel growing inside of her again. Her hands found their way to her midsection where a child would be growing. She never got to enjoy that with Henry. Most of her nights were spent crying and in pain from the discomfort of prison beds. A small smile slipped onto her features at the thought of Henry possibly being an older brother.

He was so grown up now, in a whole other realm finding his own story. What would he think about the idea of having a younger sibling? Would he be excited or would he think that she was trying to replace him?

That was certainly something she wouldn't be doing. Emma stood to check the tests with baited breath but was stopped by the ringing of her doorbell. Who in the world could that be? Her eyes glanced over the tests not really being able to see what the results were. The doorbell rang incessantly and she huffed.

"Okay, okay!" Emma yelled as she marched to the door in annoyance. Swinging the door open, the person she least expected smiled back at her.

"Mom?" Emma questioned. Emma couldn't remember inviting her mother over.

"Emma, Hi." Snow smiled widely. She was oblivious to Emma's current state. Lifting a basket into view, Snow practically shoved it into Emma's arms. "I brought muffins."

Emma internally rolled her eyes and cringed. A wave of nausea hit her and the last thing she wanted was muffins. The idea of eating anything now could cause her to blow.

"Snow that's kind of you but you really, _really_ , didn't have to," Emma stressed. "I was kind of in the middle of something and I..."

"I understand Emma." Snow's smile quickly faded. "I know you and Regina usually hang out but I thought this time we could. I didn't mean to intrude. I'll just go."

Snow turned away like a sad puppy with its tail between their legs. Emma knew her mother had good intentions and immediately felt her heart drop. Snow sure was laying the guilt on thick. Emma had an internal battle and before Snow could step off her stoop she called to her.

"Mom, would you like to come inside for a drink?" Emma found herself saying. Snow's smile widened and she stepped aside to let the woman in.

Emma closed the door behind her and glanced in the direction of the bathroom. The timer had gone off before she answered the door. She was itching to know the results of the tests but right now it could wait.

Emma suddenly didn't really want to be alone and even though Snow's appearance was unexpected, it wasn't unwelcome. She follows Snow into the kitchen where she begins to pour Snow a glass of apple juice.

"This is kind of all we have Hook forgot to go grocery shopping." Emma set the cup in front of her mother.

"Emma, are you okay?"

Emma faltered for a second before quickly coming up with an excuse. "I have a stomach ache," and Emma hoped that Snow bought it.

Snow frowned and pulled back for good measure. She looked at Emma and squinted. She didn't seem sick besides a slight glow to her skin. Maybe she had a fever too.

"It's nothing contagious. Don't worry." Emma could see the wheels turning in her mother's head.

"Oh, thank god." Snow looked around the kitchen one last time before she took the cup from Emma. It was awfully quiet here. "Have you been able to speak to Henry any since the last time?"

"No, it's hard not being able to talk to him." Emma leaned against the counter awkwardly. "I just hope he's safe. It's been a wild ride for him here in Storybrooke."

"It's been a wild ride for all of us." Snow agreed shaking her head. "It still doesn't explain why we haven't heard from you."

Emma knit her brows and looked on in confusion. They had dinner last week together. She wasn't intentionally avoiding her family there was just a lot on her mind.

"Whenever you're around you seem so far off." Snow searched her eyes for any indication of a problem. They weren't close by any means but Emma was always truthful to her.

Emma's eyes widened and she nodded absentmindedly. Her mind was obviously somewhere else.

"Regina's asked about you a couple times." Snow began. "She misses you it seems."

"Yeah?" Emma gave a look of hope. It wasn't that she didn't miss Regina, it was that she just couldn't face her yet. She was not prepared to. She wasn't ready to face the music and discuss that night.

The idea of Regina missing her wasn't so farfetched. They were best friends and had worked together to save Storybrooke multiple times. They shared a son for crying out loud. Their night at the hotel in Philadelphia was one filled with passion and pent-up energy. Years worth of hidden feelings were let out even though they shouldn't have been. They had been caught up in the heat of the moment and Emma didn't want to look too much into it. Emma could almost convince herself that it had never happened but as memories of Regina moaning beneath her and writhing under the onslaught of her tongue and fingers flashed before her eyes, she knew it was something she could never forget. Those images and the sounds Regina made when she climaxed would forever be ingrained in her mind.

She had been racked with guilt ever since. Every night she laid with Hook, her husband, she felt herself slipping into their lie of happiness even more. She could live in her lie enough to get pregnant and move on with life. Emma rolled her eyes as she got too ahead of herself. She didn't even know if she was pregnant yet.

"Emma! Emma!" Snow waved to catch her attention. She was zoning out a lot today. Emma focused her eyes on Snow in annoyance. "I was asking if you were going into work today?"

The house phone began to ring before Emma could answer. Caller ID showed that it was Hook calling from the station. A feeling of irritation coursed through her veins as she picked up. His constant hovering never stopped and hadn't lessened as the years went by. She held up a finger to Snow signaling for her to wait.

"Hi, Killian, what's up?" She spoke into the phone. "Did you need anything? Is everything okay?"

Snow listened intently in the background before going off to search for the bathroom. She steps through the hallway and observes several pictures until she reaches the room she wanted. The door was open and Snow cheered internally as she stepped into the bathroom. Her eyes zeroed in on three tiny sticks sitting on the counter. Emma's phone was sitting next to the sticks along with a few boxes. Her eyes widened as she picked up a box and read over it.

"Emma's..." Snow whispered to herself. "Oh my god."

"I was just checking to make sure that you were coming into work this morning. We miss you here in the office." Hook said.

"Of course." Emma nodded but then answered aloud when she realized Hook couldn't see her. "I should be over soon I'm just taking care…of a few things."

"Anything I should be concerned about?"

"NO, no, just normal girl stuff—" Emma began but was cut off by Snow calling her name behind her. Emma was smiling but it was quickly wiped from her face when she turned towards her guest.

"Emma?" Snow questioned as she slowly stepped back into the kitchen. Emma's eyes zeroed in on the paper towel Snow had balled into her hand. No doubt that the pregnancy tests were wrapped into them.

"Hook, I'll see you at the station. I love you." Emma quickly spoke and only waited a second for him to say it back. Hanging up the phone, they stood in silence. Snow was trying to gauge Emma's reaction to see if she was happy about this but couldn't get a read on her.

Snow's mouth hung open for a few seconds before she spoke.

"I was looking for the bathroom and you left those on the counter." Snow explained herself and stepped closer. "Emma are you, are you pregnant?"

"Mom," Emma warned in a tone that meant she really didn't want to discuss the topic.

"No, Emma, this could be great." Snow enthused. "David and I were always wondering when you and Hook would have kids. It has been a while since you've gotten married and we have always wanted grandchildren. This is great. A true love baby no doubt."

Emma gasped and reached blindly for the counter to hold her up. Snow's words affected her more than she liked. She wanted to hurl as it all came rushing to her full force. She didn't want to mention the fact that she and Hook had never shared a true love kiss. She'd never thought about it before. In the grand scheme of things that didn't mean anything to her. He was her husband and she loved him.

"Oh." Snow deflated in realization of what she said. "Are you not happy about this?"

"Please stop." Emma grit her teeth as tears threatened to fall. She couldn't understand her reaction. "I don't really—I don't know."

She could feel a panic attack creeping up on her. Snow was quickly at her side helping her sit down to breathe. She at least had the decency to look guilty. She lowered her eyes and then raised them again as Emma continued to speak. Pregnancy scared her more than she was willing to admit. The tightness in her chest wouldn't let up as she took a few minutes to gather her thoughts.

"Emma, I'm sorry, I didn't know this was such a sore subject." Snow rubbed her back soothingly. "Is Hook not happy? Are you not happy about the baby?"

"No, it's just…" Emma didn't know how to answer. Didn't know what she could say to make herself feel better. "I haven't told Hook yet. I only took the tests before you came. I don't know if these could be a false positive or stress or something."

She was having a baby with her husband. She should be happy but instead, she only had doubts.

"But wouldn't you like to know?" Snow said. "Wouldn't you like to know if you and Killian are going to raise a child together?"

"I can't look." Emma took comfort in her mother's touch. It soothed her like no other and she found herself calming. She felt like a scared little girl with her mother comforting her. Snow was indeed perplexed by Emma's reaction but didn't want to question it. Emma's feelings were her own and she wanted to be supportive.

Snow remained silent as she watched Emma fight with herself. She could see the struggle Emma was having.

"You look for me." Emma let out in a tiny, frightened whimper. Snow forgot for a second that her daughter was a grown woman.

Snow gently took the tests from the counter and looked down at them. She remembered the instructions from the box and she let out a tiny gasp as her eyes surveyed each test. All three were the same results.

"I knew it." Emma was defeated. "I mean, how could I miss something that was never even there?"

Emma deemed herself foolish of her conflicting feelings. One second she was terrified and the next she was hopeful. She would just throw the tests away and pretend nothing ever happened. It would be better that way.

"Emma, you're pregnant." Snow began slowly. "All of the tests say positive."

Emma froze in her spot. Hearing those words did something to her. She raised her hand to rest just below her belly button.

"I'm not lying, see?" Snow could sense Emma's hesitance. She pushed the tests into her hands and stepped back to settle on her heels. She didn't want to smile in case this wasn't good news.

Emma's eyes fluttered over every test as her hand twitched against her belly. It was becoming a habit she didn't know was forming but Snow could see it. It made her grin to think that Emma could finally be happy.

"I'm really pregnant," Emma whispered in disbelief. Tears spilled from her eyes as she clutched the tests tightly.

"You would have to schedule an appointment with your doctor to confirm." Snow informed her. "But I'm happy for you."

"Thank you, Mom." Emma didn't like that she was becoming so vulnerable these days.

"Really Emma, you're going to need a lot of help." Snow went on. "I just want to say I'll be there and I'm pretty sure Henry will be ecstatic. David too. Hook is going to be so happy. We're your family and you have lots of help. I'm pretty sure Regina's going to help too."

Emma's happiness quickly simmered down when she thought of telling Regina. She would cross that bridge when she got to it.

"How about we set up an appointment?" Emma tried to divert her thoughts away from this. She decided not to get her hopes up too soon when there was a possibility these tests showed a false positive.

"Great." Snow grabbed the phone from the charger and handed it to Emma.

They could settle things in only a few days. Emma's nerves almost got the best of her. She managed to make an appointment. She would only have to wait two days to know if she was truly pregnant or not.

"How about those muffins?" Snow asked as she hung up. Snow stepped over to the counter and took two out before setting them on a plate. Any other day Emma would skip breakfast and just eat a bear claw but not today. Snow wouldn't let her. She acknowledged that she quite liked Snow's company when she wasn't trying to be super mom or best friend. She was just being Snow and Emma loved that.

When Emma finally made it into work she was feeling so much better. Hook was out on patrol so she hadn't had to deal with him for quite a while. Her day went by slowly but without a hitch. Snow had promised to keep her secret until she gave Hook the news.

Emma figured that she wouldn't tell him until she was sure there was a baby in there. She spent most of her morning finishing up paperwork until Hook came to grab her for lunch. Granny's was their usual way to get out of the office when there was a slow day.

She wasn't anticipating seeing Regina sitting at the counter but she knew she couldn't ignore her. Not this time.

"Why don't you get us a booth while I go and talk to Regina," Emma suggested. Killian was aware of their recent animosity but he wasn't sure what to make of it. She and Regina were always close and he didn't like it at all. Today was a good day and he didn't want to ruin it so he simply agreed.

"Okay love, don't take too long." He kissed her cheek and moved to find a booth to the side.

Emma took a deep breath and approached Regina with as much courage as she could. Henry was no longer a buffer for much of their meetings. She could still use him as an excuse for a conversation starter.

"Hey, Regina." Emma sat on the stool next to her. Regina simply looked up at her before looking back to her meal.

"Miss Swan, nice to see you here," Regina said.

"Oh wow, Regina it's back to Miss Swan?" Emma frowned at Regina's shrug. "How've you been?"

"Besides the fact that my best friend had been avoiding me I've been well." Regina finally looked up to Emma. She felt a different energy from the woman that she could almost mistake as magic. But she knew what Emma's magic felt like and this was different. It felt familiar and she couldn't put her finger on it. She tried to ignore the pull and attraction she felt to this new form of magic. It was probably nothing.

"I'm sorry about that," Emma said. "I know with everything that's happened I don't have the right to snub you. It's just that Killian and I are finally in a place where everything is okay and I don't want to mess this up."

"Emma," Regina began. Cheating on her husband was beyond messing things up but she wasn't one to lecture. She'd made peace with Emma's decision not to tell him. She didn't know how she could continue to live with that but she didn't have a choice. She wasn't going to take away another happy ending, especially not Emma's. Even if she didn't believe that it was her happy ending.

"This weekend, let's have dinner." Emma began. "Just you and I. I know that it's been tense between us but I want us to continue making progress. I miss my best friend."

"I can admit that I too miss your annoying presence." Regina considered Emma's proposal. "I'll cook. I won't have any mishaps going on in my kitchen. Is the pirate okay with this idea?"

"Considering I just thought of it, no, but this will give him an excuse to go out with his old crew." Emma shrugged. "I miss you, Regina." This time it was softer, it felt more genuine. She wanted Regina to know that she truly meant what she was saying.

"I miss you too," Regina confessed. They both knew the weight that those words carried. They had always been Emma and Regina. No matter what had come in their way they had found how to make it work. This time was different and it showed. Sleeping together had been inevitable. Though Emma would have preferred it been another time. Way before she married Hook or fell in love with him. She had mixed feelings about the entire situation and she wanted to make sure that they were clear on everything.

"I'll see you then." Emma glanced back to where Hook was waiting with her food. He'd ordered for her like always.

Regina looked over to where Hook was waiting and back to Emma. She gave a curt nod and turned back to her food. She didn't want Emma to see how much it hurt at the fact that she was choosing Hook. She was always going to choose Hook and there was nothing she could do about it.

Something had to change.

As Emma lay awake later that night she tried to make sense of what was going on. She tried to count back her conception date to pinpoint when exactly she'd gotten pregnant. The numbers just didn't add up to where she wanted them to. The moon shone through her window across her face. She turned away to face Killian and groaned at his light snoring.

The doctor would be able to confirm her suspicions and give a due date but she didn't want to be right. She silently prayed that the nagging in the back of her mind turned out to be wrong. She didn't think she could live with herself if she wasn't.

Emma slipped into a fitful sleep still hoping that everything turned out the way it should. If only life worked the way we wanted.


	2. Chapter 2

Emma had lost count of how many times she'd checked her phone in the last fifteen minutes. Her left leg bounced, her hands ran through her hair constantly, and she bit her lip hard as she waited for her name to be called. Waiting and being patient weren't personality traits of hers and everyone knew it. She played an old game of angry birds on her iPhone and only glanced up to make sure there were no familiar faces stepping into the waiting room. There were plenty of other mothers in all stages of pregnancy sitting around looking very uncomfortable. The practicing OBGYN was late and everyone was suffering because of it.

Though Storybrooke General wasn't her ideal place to do this it was the quickest. Despite her doctor being late, Emma thanked the heavens that she wouldn't be seeing Dr. Whale today. She didn't know if she could handle seeing that man frequently for the next 8 or so months. With the town having taken on more practical approaches and hiring more experienced doctors from the Enchanted Forest there were way many more professional options than Whale.

If she knew any better she could say that it was way more organized. Everything had been since the final battle. It had been a while since she had to fight and she found herself missing it. It was weird to admit but she probably would never say it out loud. When she was the Savior, she had a purpose. Fight evil, save everyone, and keep the town safe. Being the Sheriff entailed some of those options but none of it was as exhilarating as fighting alongside Regina.

She found her best friend was on her mind a lot these days. Though they were estranged it didn't mean that they were no longer friends. At least, to Emma. She still loved Regina dearly and considered her to be her best friend. Some silly mistake they'd made in another state shouldn't ruin that. It was why she invited her to dinner. A peace offering and a way to talk about what happened. They were avoiding the topic and each other but that couldn't happen any longer. Emma needed to make things clear between them. She was a married woman. Married and happily so. That last part didn't sound so convincing.

"Swan?" Emma stood quickly at the mention of her name. She was saved from her own thoughts before they took a left turn. It was a thought that she'd been having a lot and she didn't want to know why.

As she walked to the front of the waiting room many of the women watched her in jealousy. The wait time had been killing them.

"Hi, I'm Lisa, and I'm just going to ask you a few questions." As Emma followed her to a room down the hall, she thought about how long it had been since she had taken a similar walk. Of course, the jail hospital, hadn't been as clean but it did its job. She was left alone to change into her hospital gown. It was always an uncomfortable feeling having her backside on display. Though there was no one in the room it was still embarrassing. She sat on the noisy tissue paper and waited with her legs crossed. The doctor would be in shortly to perform the sonogram.

After her weight and height were taken, she watched as her nurse, Lisa, asked her all types of questions.

"When was your last period?" Emma answered this question as accurately as she could. There were no bells going off in her head on if she was wrong.

"Is this your first child? Any experiences with miscarriage?" Emma answered no to both questions and sat comfortably this time. She would rather be anywhere but there but she knew it was needed.

The doctor finally reached her room and introduced herself.

"Hello, Emma, I'm Doctor Kyle." The woman only seemed to be a few years older than herself. "I'm just going to run a few tests. Can you tell me your symptoms?"

"We'll I've missed a few periods so that was number one." Emma began. She took a deep breath and then proceeded to try again. "Tender breasts and a whole lot of fatigue. It's ridiculous."

"Any nausea?" Doctor Kyle checked Emma's vitals. She had been through this routine many times.

"Yes, oh god yes." Emma groaned. She was not fazed by the poking and prodding that the older woman performed. She continued talking and only flinched just a little at the cold stethoscope against her skin. "It actually seems worse this time around. It's all day constantly. I'm surprised my husband hasn't questioned it yet."

"Are you waiting to tell him?" Doctor Kyle helped Emma to lay back as she began to perform a pelvic exam.

"Yeah, I want to surprise him." That wasn't entirely true. Emma would be surprising more than herself. She found herself zoning out during much of what was left of the appointment. She answered each question robotically as she waited to hear the words she wanted to hear.

"You're definitely pregnant, Emma."Doctor Kyle turned the monitor so that she could see the tiny dot on the screen. Emma felt a wave of emotion wash over her as she saw her baby for the first time. She had been waiting for this moment for days but couldn't describe what she was feeling right this second. She felt nothing but love for her tiny dot. "You're about 9 weeks along. Which makes a conception date of about June 3rd? Expect the little guy to arrive around February 24th. I'll be able to determine more for your next visit. Would you like to hear a heartbeat?"

Emma was pulled from her thoughts at the idea of hearing a heartbeat. She felt it would be too intimate for her first visit and something she should share with Killian. "Actually, can I wait a little longer for that? I'd like a few pictures. My husband would hate it if he weren't here."

Doctor Kyle nodded and left Emma to get dressed again. She noticed a slight hesitation with the woman but it was not her place to comment.

As Emma dressed again, every ill feeling she felt about this pregnancy was out of this window. This baby would be wanted. No matter what. Sure, she and Killian hadn't planned on having children but that didn't make her less of a miracle. Emma shook her head as she was already imagining the baby to be a girl. It was probably still too early for that. As she sat once again on the hospital bed, Emma couldn't help but think back to her fake memories of a baby Henry. She wondered if her new child would look anything like their older brother. She could picture a little one running around their home right now. The pitter patter of feet slapping against their hardwood floors.

She felt nervous again as she thought of having to tell people. Having to tell two of the most important people in her life wasn't going to be easy. She desperately wanted to tell Henry but knew that would have to wait even longer. She hoped he would be happy about it.

Once she was handed the two copies of her ultrasound pictures she made a second appointment where she promised herself to bring Killian. She was pregnant. Emma Swan was going to have a baby.

As Emma pulled into the driveway of her home, she thought of ways to tell her family. Maybe she could bring them all together and give them a present with t-shirts announcing the new baby on them. No, that was too cheesy, even for her fairytale family. Maybe she could send them a baby registry and be nonchalant about it. That was always an option. Somehow, she knew her family would not let a new baby slide like that. Especially not coming from Emma.

She just needed a few days. In a few days, she would tell Killian, and then maybe even Regina. For now, she wanted to savor the few moments she had with her baby for herself.

Though she didn't have much time for herself. Two days later, after puking her brains and breakfast out, Emma was no longer able to keep little dot a secret. It was the millionth time that week she had awoken to vomit and Hook was getting suspicious. He kept his curiosity to himself until Emma was leaving for her dinner with Regina.

"Hey Love, you sure you don't want to give Regina a raincheck? I'm sure she would understand."He rubbed her back. Pulling her hair behind her head he tried to be as supportive as he could. "You can schedule dinner for another time."

"No, I'm fine." Emma shrugged him off. She really didn't want anyone or anything touching her. Not when she felt so disgusting. "It's just probably something I ate. It will pass soon. Not anything to keep cancelling on her." She leaned against the sink to prepare herself to brush her teeth. At this point of life, she could keep an extra toothbrush in her back pocket.

"Aye, but you've been hurling quite a bit, haven't you?" He tilted his head. "I may have lived most of my life on a ship but I know you Emma. Somethin's wrong."

"Right." Emma took a deep breath. She slipped her phone into her back pocket and tried to push down her annoyance too. She couldn't understand why she was annoyed but she didn't feel like talking about it with him.

"You could stay home and spend a little more time with me." He suggested.

So that's what he really wanted. It was always the same thing whenever she wanted to do anything alone. It never failed for him to try and convince her to stay home with him. It had never bothered her before but right now it couldn't irk her anymore.

"I want to see my friend." Emma simply said. She wasn't in the mood to argue with him. It had been weeks since their last argument and that was around the same time she and Regina would have weekly hangouts. "I'll see you later, I love you." She kissed his cheek but upon pulling away, he grabbed her arm.

"Swan?" He considered her eyes and silently begged for the truth.

"I-I," Emma stuttered as she knew she could no longer lie. There were already too many secrets in their marriage and she didn't want to keep this from him. "I'm pregnant."

Hook released her arm in shock and gave her a once over. She didn't look pregnant. Which meant she'd just found out. It all made sense now.

"Now I'm sorry, we can talk later but I'm really late." Emma gave his cheek a final kiss and quickly left the room. She wasn't ready to have this conversation and she knew she was running. Falling on old habits was easy for her.

Arriving at Regina's felt good. She felt at home and she almost walked straight through the front door but didn't upon remembering that they weren't very close. They hadn't been since before the road trip. She raised her right hand to knock but was stopped when the door opened.

"Hey, Emma, I felt you." Regina gave a small smile. It wasn't new for either of them to feel the other coming through magic. She'd taught Emma how to do it long ago and they'd been teasing each other about it ever since. Regina didn't mention that she'd felt an extra presence of magic. It was the same essence that she'd felt for the first time at Granny's. She couldn't quite tell what it was but she had her own ideas. "Come in."

At Regina's warm welcome, Emma felt as if a weight had been lifted. She knew they would never be back to what they were but they could try.

"I cooked your favorite." Regina lead Emma into the kitchen. She pulled her appropriately timed and finished lasagna out of the oven and set it along the counter. "It's kind of a lot so you can take home leftovers if you'd like."

"Fine with me." Emma sniffed and thanked the heavens that Little Dot would be allowing her to eat. She hoped morning sickness didn't creep up on her. Since finding out about her pregnancy she'd only been able to eat toast and saltines. She stood awkwardly against the counter and watched as Regina worked around the room. "You're making brownies too? A woman after my own heart." Emma swooned as she watched Regina push the pan back into the oven.

"I know how much you like them and I haven't cooked for anyone in a while." Regina wiped her hands against a nearby napkin. She signaled for Emma to grab plates as they walked into the dining room.

"So, how's life here without Henry?" Emma waited as Regina served them both with a hefty slice of lasagna. She began to pour wine in Emma's cup but was stopped. "Sorry, I'm not drinking. I have night watch and I'm becoming a bit of a lightweight these days."

"It's been fair. I miss him dearly."

Regina raised a questioning brow at Emma's decline but otherwise said nothing. She sipped from her own wine glass and simply watched Emma. Taking a deep breath, she decided to dive right into what she wanted to say. "You've been avoiding me. I suppose the cause of it is our night back in Philadelphia?"

Emma almost choked on the piece of lasagna she'd stuffed in her mouth. The taste of real food was heavenly against her tongue. She already wanted seconds.

"No, hey Emma, how have you been?" Emma chuckled nervously. She knew this is what she was here for. They needed to have this conversation whether she liked it or not. Regina's face remained still as she waited for Emma to answer. "To be honest, yes. I know that I've been avoiding you and I'm truly sorry for that. I've been dealing with a lot and I know that's no excuse but it's what I do best."

"Not for a while." Regina said definitively. "You stopped running the moment you knew that Storybrooke was home. You also have never lied to me. Emma, that night, and what we shared, I don't regret it at all. I would like to know what your thoughts are. Clearly, you've been showing me all along. Am I right?"

"Wait," Emma had to collect her thoughts. Whatever she was going to say next had to be the right thing. "What happened that night can't happen again." She began. Based on the look donning Regina's face she knew this wasn't the right thing to say. She had to set boundaries and she had to do them now. "I'm not a cheater Regina."

"Those values you are holding to are thrown out of the window." Regina said. "We slept together. We had sex. There's no beating around the bush. Whether you're proud of it or not we both made a choice."

"Well, it wasn't an easy one." Emma muttered but was probably a little too loud for her own good.

"Are you saying I seduced you? "Regina frowned. "If I remember correctly, it was you that pinned me against the bed. It was you who kissed me. It was also you that pulled my panties down using your- "

"Okay, I get it." Emma held up a hand. Replays were not needed. She remembered that night all too well. She shook her head and decided to change course. "Regina, I'm married. I can't say if I regret that night. I do not have a choice to. I'm married to Killian and I made vows to him. I'm happy with him."

Regina didn't know who she was trying to convince more, Regina or herself, but she wasn't buying it. She took a long look at Emma before opening her mouth.

"You do not simply get into bed with someone because you're happy, Em-ma. You also do not avoid your best friend because of what happened. We are friends and we must own up to our responsibilities. I refuse to be some one-night stand because it was convenient. It was also you that invited me to this dinner. You should make up your mind and now. Have you even told your husband you're so happy with?"

"Are you asking me to choose?" Emma ignored the last question. The fluttering in her stomach overrode the irritation she felt brewing and reminded her to stay calm. This conversation was becoming heated quickly. As did all other things when it came to she and Regina.

"Stop putting words into my mouth." Regina rolled her eyes. "I would have been just fine to leave whatever this was in the past. But I can't because I know for a fact that it meant something more than what you're letting on. Why are you being so stubborn?"

"Because I won't acknowledge a mistake I made months ago." Emma didn't know why she felt so strongly about denying this. This dinner was not going how she envisioned in her head. "Regina, okay, we had sex. We fucked. We had sex in a cheap hotel bed because we were stuck in a room together. Are you happy?" Her nostrils flared.

"There it is." Regina grinned despite the tears stinging her eyes. Emma thought she made a mistake. That's all she needed to know. "That spine you've somehow let Hook take away from you has come back. At least I know how you feel."

"Hook has nothing to do with it. Don't bring him up." Emma pushed her seat away. They were being irrational but both were too stubborn to approach the situation differently.

"He doesn't know." Regina came to the realization. At the quirk in Emma's chin she knew all she needed to.

"I haven't told him, no."

"Well don't you think he deserves to know?"

"That's none of your business." Emma folded her arms.

"It's why he hasn't come here trying to tear down my door." Regina smugly sipped from her wine glass. "You haven't told him. Do tell Emma, why are you keeping this a secret? If it meant nothing? If us sleeping together meant nothing. Tell your husband you're so happily married to. I'm sure being satisfied to exhaustion doesn't happen every day for you, does it? But then again your marriage was always built on lies and passive aggressiveness."

"Regina," Emma growled. "I came here to talk to you. To get my best friend back. Not to argue you with." The older woman had hit a nerve and she knew it.

"Emma, you called it a mistake." Regina felt a surge of magic shock her into silence. It hadn't hurt but merely surprised her. By the look on Emma's face the same had happened to her. Neither of them knew what it was but looked to the other for answers. With a sigh, Regina set her glass on the table and looked around. She'd let her temper and hurt get the best of her. She didn't want to continue fighting with Emma.

Emma on the other hand had felt the shock to a deeper magnitude and sat again to find her bearings. Wiping her face, Emma leaned back against the chair. "Regina, I don't know what the right thing is to say in this situation. I cannot explore what it all means. It is way too late. We had a night of something. God, it meant something but I can't tell you what. I'm married to Hook. He loves me and he doesn't deserve what I did. He's a good man and I know you don't believe that but I do."

She looked to see the unshed tears in her best friend's eyes. "I don't want to lose your friendship. I don't want to lose what we have. I'm sorry if I can't give you more but friendship is all I have to offer."

Regina nodded and wiped away her falling tears. "Emma, I-I." Being angry was what she did best. Being vulnerable was not a strength of hers and they both knew it. "I only want the best for you. I realize that right now it is more than too late. I do not wish to destroy your happiness. I had my soulmate and I lost him. I had Daniel and I lost him. It would devastate me if I ever lost you. So, just like I've done in the past, I will smile and pretend it that is what you want. I cannot ask for you to leave your husband. I won't ask you to do that. But calling this a mistake, it hurts. I do know that is what it was and I do not regret it. I only regret the position I put you in."

Regina was putting her own feelings aside for Emma, for someone she felt so strongly for. She would not ruin what Emma had. All she could do was step aside.

"Can we remain friends?" Emma asked hopefully. She prayed that Regina said yes.

"I don't know, Emma." Regina sighed. Could they really go back to the way things were before? Emma seemed to be fine with the idea. "I just I need to think on it." Emma gave a small nod but made no move to leave. She didn't want to leave things like this.

"Now, if you're okay in here, I have brownies to take out of the oven."

Regina excused herself and walked into the kitchen with the calmness of someone who had been hurt before. She knew how to put on a mask and refused to break down. Not here and not right now. She pulled the brownies of out the oven and cut a few pieces. She spent the time alone stuffing some into Tupperware and diving them to give to Emma. Her appetite was suddenly nonexistent.

In the next room, Emma was feeling the same way. She could fight her feelings and continue to live in her lie. She could confess to Hook and hope he forgave her. She'd just announced her pregnancy to him not even three hours ago and he was probably home excited. It would crush him to know what she had done. She was almost glad that the paternity of their baby couldn't be questioned. She didn't know what kind of woman she'd be if that was the case.

Regina wiped her tears and put on a fake smile to step back into the dining room. "Here are the leftovers that I'm sure you'll be happy about tomorrow. No more Granny's for lunch."

Emma happily took the Tupperware and held it to her. "I should…probably get going." Regina said nothing as she followed Emma to the front door. Before she could react, Emma pulled her into a hug that she couldn't get out of. It felt good in her arms, she felt safe, she felt at home. She would never admit that to Emma after how things had gone but she could still say it to herself.

She did feel that magical pull that made her frown. There were still many aspects of magic that she didn't know but right now she needed to find out. She wouldn't mention it to Emma just yet. Not until she found out what the cause of it was. While her own magic was darker in nature, Emma's magic was light and floaty. Sometimes accompanied by the scent of vanilla which Regina could mistake for Emma's shampoo.

"I'll see you?" Emma asked hopefully, her green eyes sparkling with nothing but love for Regina.

Regina gave a curt nod in return and held the door open for her. She probably deserved Regina's silence after their little shouting match. After this night, Emma promised she would make things right. She would show Regina that they could be good friends. If it was space Regina needed, she could give her that. It would hurt but she knew Regina deserved more than the hand she was dealt.

When Regina closed the door, she held her hands against it to steady her shaking legs. Dinner had turned out worse than she'd expected. She didn't want to fight with Emma but all of her pent up anger and frustration needed to be let go. Once again, she was losing what could have been something great. Her feelings for Emma weren't new. She'd been suppressing them for as long as she could remember. She didn't even know when it was that she fell in love with Emma. It could have been that day six years ago at the mines. It could have been their very first meeting when Emma sheepishly said hi. All of that didn't matter now. Emma was taken. Even when Regina finally realized that her feelings were more than platonic she was too late. Emma was not hers to claim. She was Hook's and even though it pained her to watch what could have been pass by, she had no choice. Regina left the dishes on the dining room table, she wasn't in the mood to clean, she wanted to wallow in self pity for a little longer. She grabbed the wine bottle from the table and turned to go upstairs to her room where she could drown her sorrows.

The night with Emma during Henry's graduation trip had been the best of her life. But it was a mistake. A mistake that clearly meant nothing to Emma. To Regina though, it meant more than she could ever know. More than she was willing to admit to anyone.

Once Emma arrived home, she was half expecting for Hook to be passed out on the couch after drinking a cold beer and half expecting him to have left home, but she was wrong on both. She let out a silent cheer as she noticed he wasn't on the first floor. She was hoping to have a bit of time to herself to let everything from tonight sink in. She and Regina always fought. It was what they did. They both were too stubborn to admit how they were feeling or if the other was right. Which always resulted in them coming to blows and then apologizing after. It was their dynamic. This time, Emma had a sinking feeling that this wouldn't be the case.

As Emma approached her bedroom, she heard children's music playing and knew that she wasn't alone.

"Hey, Swan, I've been waiting for you." Hook grinned happily as he turned her laptop towards her. She remembered when Henry had taught him how to use it. How confused he had been learning about the internet and social media. Now here he was searching up, baby websites, Emma squinted and realized that she really should start wearing her glasses.

"Nice, you seem really happy about this." Emma shrugged her jacket off. She tossed it aside and sat beside him on the bed. If she was going to have this baby, if they were going to take care of it together, she had to be in it; All or nothing.

They spent the rest of the night scrolling through baby websites and getting used to the idea of having a baby. Emma ignored the guilt of her argument with Regina from earlier and spent time with her husband.


End file.
